Why can’t I just be Gay or Straight ?

The reason I've started this blog is because I read a comment posted on a gay website that boiled my blood. It more or less said that bisexual people don't really have it that bad, certainly not as bad as gay people do. We don't get persecuted and don't suffer discrimination like gay people do and they thought most of us are just playing the field and not being honest with ourselves. This comment had lots of follow up replies from other gay men saying that bi men are really just gay men who can't come out of the closet.

I've searched the web and although it seems to be full of hetero and gay reading matter. It seems almost Barron in comparison when you want to know about the bisexual community. That's if you ignore porn or course. Which, by the way (excuse the pun) bares no relevance to my life because the idea of having sex with a man and a woman at the same time isn't my thing.

Everyone has their own feelings and take on things. Not all gay or straight people feel the same. So I'm not here speaking for every bisexual in the world. This is just me. And I'm wondering if anyone else feels the same.

I'll write more about how I came to accept my bisexuality as I go along but for what it's worth this is how it is for me.

When I decided to tell people I was Bi I was surprised to find that a lot of my friends and family just though I was telling them I was gay. Because as far as they were concerned if I fancied men. I was gay and that was the end of it. When I was honest with a girlfriend she also thought the same and dumped me in seconds. When I spoke to gay friends I had a few deny my sexuality and tell me I should just be honest and come out. I've tried dating sites and seen gay men specify NO BISEXUALS. There is also an assumption I want a threesome from those who just want to make fun of it. If I had a girlfriend they assumed I was “over that gay thing” and might settle down now. If I was with a man everyone (including my gay friends) said things like ” I'm glad you've eventually accepted it” “IT” of course meaning gay.

I even tried living a lie all over again. Pretending I was straight with straight people and gay with gay. But I was just as miserable.

Well they can all sod off. I'm Bisexual. Get over it.


Author: mickcase

I live in the UK and am Bisexual. Not that I would normally introduce myself this way. But it is the theme of this blog.

5 thoughts on “Why can’t I just be Gay or Straight ?”

  1. Honestly, I stopped by this blog post because of the picture…
    I continued to read, because I think there are still a lot of misconceptions about bisexuality; and the truth of the matter sexuality is as varied as people are. Everyone is different.


  2. I get the struggle, sweetie. I identify as “bisexual” (despite that I’m having doubts that it’s the most suitable label) and the people that know are often like “You’re confused” or “You’re a lesbian” and I get shit from non hetero people as well, which is awful, considering the fact that they are discriminated and should know what’s the deal here.


  3. There is still ambiguity behind being a bisexual. I totally agree that only bisexuals know how it feels to be one. Apparently people have the tendency classify you to one shade of life when in fact you can be more than that. I love how the way you stood up to your preference.


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