Do gay people believe in Bisexuality ?

If I ever encounter homophobia it usually washes over me. I’m not immune to it but I don’t let the bigots get to me. I pity their small minded thinking and will have nothing to do with them.

But there is a type of abuse (and it feels like abuse) that always hits me where it hurts and it doesn’t come from people like that, it comes from people who should know better. Gay men!.

Sometimes it’s not intended, sometimes it’s very dismissive. But it still means something. In fact it means more to me than any rantings of a homophobe.

I have met so many gay men who dismiss bisexuality out of hand. They see me as a gay man who is to scared to “come out” and admit I am gay.  I am not gay, I am bisexual. And if you can’t tell the difference then you need to look a little closer at your own sexuality. Do gay men fancy women?. Would a gay man be interested in a sexual relationship with a woman?.

I read a article the other day (on a gay news website) that referred to a large proportion of heterosexual men owning up to having some kind of gay feelings. At no point in this story did they mention bisexuality. It was all worded in a way that suggested these men were in fact gay. It was a straight forward Heterosexual – Homosexual take on the story. In fact, the writer was practically wet himself at the suggestion that there are more gay men out there than we care to admit. Because all these men must be gay right?.

I’ve read profiles on gay dating websites specifically saying “no bisexual men” I’ve been told to my face to stop hiding in the closet and when I had a girlfriend (who knew I was bisexual) she was referred to as my beard.

I’m not saying all gay men feel and talk this way, but I’ve met quite a few who do. The reason it hurts more is because it feels so unexpected. If some i hate slags me off I don’t care. If someone i like does it, it hurts.

Author: mickcase

I live in the UK and am Bisexual. Not that I would normally introduce myself this way. But it is the theme of this blog.

3 thoughts on “Do gay people believe in Bisexuality ?”

  1. Yep, there are STILL gay men who don’t believe bisexual men really exist and who don’t particularly like bisexual men AND insist that we stop lying to ourselves and admit that we’re really gay. Are there gay men who actually like women and would sleep with them? Yes… they wouldn’t admit it and I know three gay men who don’t have a problem being involved with a woman.

    I don’t let their cluelessness – and their obvious denial – about bisexual men bother me, no more than I pay much attention to pieces written on pro-gay sites because, clearly, their point of view is severely biased, like the current notion that straight men who might be interested in some M2M sex are really gay and should identify as such. What utter nonsense! The main reason I don’t let what some gay folks say about this is because, for one, I know I’m bisexual and I proved that way before most of today’s detractors were even born and, secondly, I don’t have to prove to gays that I’m what I say I am.

    If they don’t like it, all they can do is whine like little bitches and not like it although I will also say that some of those same detractors think we’re just fine… when we’re having sex with them. So if I were you, I wouldn’t let this juvenile mindset bother me in the least bit because haters are gonna hate andntheres nothing you can do about that to change their infantile minds.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Not all gay men are like this and they’re quite okay with bi guys… but some gay men are just insular and believe, like many straight people, their their lifestyle is the only acceptable one and, thus, if you’re not like us, you’re against us. It’s a stupid way to behave and I know I don’t have the time, patience, or even a reason to let this behavior bother me. You see it, hear it, shake your head a little, and go on about the business of being yourself: You certainly don’t need prejudicial gay men to validate yourself!


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